Why envy and jealousy will get you what you want!

Jess Holliday
4 min readMar 2, 2021


Sounds backwards right? And probably goes against everything your Mum ever taught you… but bear with.

Let’s be honest. When we see someone doing or achieving something we fancy for ourselves, how many of us have felt that pang of envy, like “I want that!”, or maybe even jealousy, like “that was my dream, and you’ve gotten to it first!”

I’ve experienced and explored this over the past few years as I’ve grown and developed as a teacher and coach.

I have stood shoulder to shoulder with epic and inspiring people in group training programs, and I see them declaring and achieving growth, the kind I want and desire.

At first, I felt envious, jealous, demoralised even, less-than, overwhelmed, small, wishing I had what they had, and sometimes feeling bitter about it.

Comparing myself and my level of success against other coaches was pointless. It got me nowhere, except on the first wrung on a downward spiral of emotions.

It also meant I was coming at this from a place of lack, scarcity, focusing on what I was missing out on, what I didn’t have.


Then, in a spark of insight, I realised that my reaction to other people’s successes was simply pointing out to me what I wanted, tweaking and pulling at my innermost desires.

And in those moments, I now had a choice.

Rather than being envious, bitter or despondent about what I didn’t have, this was a sign of what I was ready to welcome into my life!

From that point on, I made a point to seek out others’ successes and use them as a mirror, reflecting back to me what it was I truly wanted.

Each time I did, any feelings of envy, jealousy, bitterness or scarcity started to melt away.

Now, rather than focusing on the negatives, the not-having and feeling frustrated, I actively celebrate their wins.

I feel them, I internalise them as my own, and in doing so train my body to experience the feeling of the joy and happiness I desire as if it has already happened.

Celebrating other people’s wins as if they are your own is the best way to attract to you what you DO want.

It shifts you into a higher vibration, a higher state of consciousness. It shifts you into a state of abundance and prosperity, which is exactly the state you WANT to be in to attract those very things to you.

So rather than getting bitter, jealous or envious, examine your dialogue. Follow the clues.

Your higher self is telling you “You Want That”, through the emotional language of envy, jealousy, bitterness.

And you know what, you can absolutely have it.

Instead of those emotions controlling you and coming from a place of lack or scarcity, turn the equation around and take control of the situation: celebrate their wins, celebrate their growth.

Start to see those opportunities as yours for the taking, see their success as a mirror reflecting back to you what you want, and then take action to get it.


When you see or hear about someone achieving something you want, and you get even the slightest pang of emotion:

1. Celebrate their win! Switch up your mental state and send them a message of congratulations or acknowledgement… anything… just don’t go down the rabbit hole and allow the negative emotions like envy or jealousy to take control.

2. Own It. What is it about their success you want? Then, write that down, switching up the syntax to reflect it as yours, as if it has happened to you. Read it out loud every morning, ideally before a meditation.

In doing so, you start to reprogram your subconscious mind, conditioning it to feel the emotions of this experience as if it has already happened, drawing your vision of the future to you.

3. Practice Gratitude. Give thanks and appreciation for that success. Being in gratitude is the ultimate state of receivership. To be grateful is to act as if it has already happened.


Your emotions can be used as guideposts to your values and passions. When you see them, you can choose to take inspired action accordingly.

Treat envy and jealousy like your best friends, because they’re the unexpected little breadcrumbs guiding you back to what you really want.

Awareness is your starting point. Meditation can be your vehicle to take this to even deeper levels of consciousness, a deeper knowing and understanding.

With the use of mantra meditation and by connecting with your body, the awareness in your hands, the constancy of your breath, you can learn to free yourself from the conditions and programs of the mind.

It’s the tool you can use to harness this fuel of awareness and move and elevate your consciousness, to tap into the infinite possibilities of you and discover your life’s passion and live with more purpose.



Want to learn more? The doors to my 1:1 Mantra Meditation Programme are open.

Book a free, no-obligation consultation to find out how mantra meditation could help you find your passion and purpose. In the program, you receive a personalised mantra (unique to you based on your time and place of birth).

Schedule a free consultation to find out more: https://calendly.com/beherewell/primordial-sound-meditation-discovery



Jess Holliday

I write about self-realisation, spirituality, consciousness, practical philosophy, life-hacks and productivity.